it really sucks to realize that you’re only average at something you dedicate your entire life to. just another kid. another face in the crowd. just another person that will be watched by the pros, just to have your face vanish from their minds only moments later.
every day i go to the barn. every day i put in one hundred and ten percent of my effort. i work my ass off. i do tough barn chores without complaint and help out wherever i can. i ride whatever i can to get better. and i have gotten better. but not better enough.
there’s literally thousands of kids out there in the riding world who are just like me. thousands. probably more. hard-working kids. but average kids all the same. to every other trainer and judge, i’m just another girl who wants to make it big.
i try so hard. but even after all this hard work, i don’t even have one good round to show for it. we all say we don’t care about winning. but there’s that little piece inside of all of us that screams with frustration when things don’t go the way we want, especially after all the effort we put in. i love the sport, and i would never give it up for anything. but still.
i have the opportunities, the horse, the support and the trainer to do it. the only thing that’s missing is the talent.
i just hope one day the sweat, blood and tears will all amount to something.